Sunday, July 3, 2016
Do You Know What It's Like?
Do you know what it's like to comfort someone when it's their last breath?
Do you know what it's like to hold someone when they have a memory that feels like it just happened?
Do you know what it's like to feel broken from head to toe?
Do you know what it's like to hurt so bad physically, emotionally, and mentally at the end of every day?
Do you know what it's like to be the only person to give a damn?
Do you know what it's like to have your heart broken when someone strikes you after you have cared for them for so long?
Do you know what it's like to fight like hell, every day, to take care of people who have been forgotten?
Do you know what it's like to wonder if someone will take care of you like you have done for so many others?
Do you know what it's like to sit in your car and cry before driving home to take care of your own family?
Do you know what it's like to say, I'm sorry not today, I'm too tired or I have to work?
Do you know what it's like to give up on your own life to serve others?
Do you know what it's like to spend countless hours giving all of yourself for nothing in return?
Do you know what it's like to give all you have while your co-workers backbite you?
Do you know what it's like to not trust anyone whom you work with?
Do you know what it's like to give until it hurts?
Do you know what it's like to feel stuck?
Friday, March 7, 2008
My Poetry
Aching heart
Sitting here in pain,
Something I never wanted to relive,
Thinking it was all in vain,
This I now believe.
To my hearts avail,
I will build that wall back up,
this time I will not fail,
It won't break like the painted cup.
Looking in the mirror,
Standing there wondering,
As it becomes clearer,
Like loud thundering.
It was not me,
It was at the hands of another,
But now I am free,
From all that smother.
wrote by kinky AKA April on 6-15-06
________________________________________________
What is the meaning of love?
Love is a given emotion,
It can be gone in a flash,
Sometimes it's like the oceans,
Never knowing the next splash.
Deep feelings of the one,
Keeps your heart racing,
Till the next run,
As you are embracing.
Mind wandering thoughts,
Daydreaming all day long,
While waiting to be sought,
For him to come along.
Having lots of hopes,
For that grand day,
As both of you copes,
You walk holding the bouquet.
Long walks together,
Naked bodies lay,
Through all the Weather,
Like it is the last day.
wrote by kinky AKA April 6-15-06
________________________________________________
Helping Out
Sitting here day in and out,
Waiting to help someone in doubt,
Thumbing through many pages,
When I know there will be rages,
Please remember we are here to help,
Not for someone to yelp.
If you want assistance,
Remember we are not far in distance,
Just give us a ring,
We will answer within a spring.
Wrote by kinky AKA April on 6-29-2006
________________________________________________
To someone special, may he know who he is:
Together at last,
through a rough past,
weeding through thick and thin,
not knowing where to begin.
Countless happy times,
and the sad ones as well,
as the clock chimes,
there is no reason to dwell.
We know we will be able to play,
to talk and joke,
another day,
as we sit like other folk.
Know this is how I feel,
and know that I will love you,
to no deal,
all the way through.
6-30-06
wrote by Kinky AKA April
________________________________________________
"Nobody"
Walking one step closer into the night,
I find myself given a fright,
By what I see in sight,
He didn't go without a fight.
You could tell there was much of a struggle,
As they tried to muggle,
It was if he was in a jungle,
Where his body would be mangled.
Calling upon the authorities,
But they had other priorities,
That were not such brutalities,
This was but of one of the abnormalities.
As his body lay there slain,
There was nothing more to gain,
Cloudy skies turned into rain,
His blood ran into the water drain.
Finally showing up on scene,
They had seen,
That the ground was now clean,
From what was left; they could tell the killer was mean.
As they took away the body,
There was a soft melody,
Later that night the killer in custody,
Come to find out he was a nobody.
written: 7-5-06
by: Kinky AKA April
________________________________________________
The Pain I feel when I take in a breath,
Is what others feel when they pass away,
To live in a world so cold,
Where possession is their only worry.
What happened to the old stories,
Times we will never experience,
Essence lost,
Time will heal it all.
So cold in the night,
Like a snowy winter day,
The only heat you feel,
Is that of them fighting.
Materialistic objects being the only concern,
No mourning to be observed,
Cold and callousness,
Bittersweet till the end.
Always smiling and laughing,
Underneath is the darkness,
Feelings of unwantedness,
Awkward moments with silence surrounding.
Wrote by Kinky aka April on 7-25-06
________________________________________________
Lots of long lonely nights,
Coldness rolls in,
A feeling that has been there before,
Coming back knocking on that same door.
Sleepless; Restless nights,
A loud shrill,
From a child's frights,
Listening for someone who is no longer around.
Precious times wasted and lost,
With more than enough cost,
Lives of innocents affected,
Only it goes undetected.
How can someone be so vain,
To cause so much pain,
Another relationship slain,
But only one to blame.
wrote by Kinky aka April
August 8th, 2006
________________________________________________
All is Lost
Shadows running acrossed the ground,
While the world is spinning around,
A little twinkling in the distance,
Gone in an instance.
All hopes and dreams,
Lost amongst the screams,
everyone laughing at the failure,
who was one a savior.
Praying for death daily,
To end all the suffer,
Saying just maybe,
Someone else can offer.
Knowing that one day,
This pain will subside,
But when can one say,
Until then try to abide.
Originally wrote on 9-15-06
By Kinky aka April
________________________________________________
Watching
Watching out the window,
As you play in the sun,
Amazed at how you have grown,
In such a short time.
Not a care in the world,
Just wanting more time to play,
Before you know it,
It is time for school.
Changing minds and faces,
Having friends to share you secrets,
New interests and crushes,
Maturing into a beautiful young lady.
One day soon,
Before you or I see,
It will be time,
For marriage and college.
Only hope that you do not suffer,
As much as others,
And to remember one thing,
Be true to yourself.
Originally Wrote on 9-16-06
By Kinky aka April
________________________________________________
Our First Meet
Give me the hope,
That by just a chance,
We may cope,
And have that first dance.
Holding each other near,
With nothing to fear,
As I shed a tear,
To the one that I hold dear.
Thinking of you over the weeks,
Wondering if you are thinking of me,
Hoping that you are the one I seek,
And the day we meet; We shall be free.
Dreaming of that special day,
When we shall meet,
Not knowing what to say,
Expressing everything so sweet.
Originally Wrote on 9-21-06
By Kinky aka April
________________________________________________
How to survive
To cause another pain,
Due to insecurities,
Must be the main,
Cuz it comes with ease.
Always making a sacrifice,
For another person's love,
Only to be frozen by ice,
Yearning to be a dove.
Rare and precious qualities,
Like no other today,
Not found in quantity,
Only to be in dismay.
Turmoil now running through veins,
Due to all the arguements,
Wondering now what strains,
Are to come with this commitment.
Lonliness subsides,
Dreams leading to elsewhere,
No longer abides,
With anymore cares.
Moving in a new direction,
Not knowing what is to come,
Watching every action,
With a new song to hum.
Sadness will still dwell,
Every once in awhile,
Like the waves coming to swell,
Pushing it aside like bile.
Remembering that everything happens,
Only for us to learn and grow,
Knowing that one day it opens,
For a new flow.
To end all this pain,
Learn to have a cold heart,
So that you can remain,
Safe from the start.
written 9-16-06
by
April AKA Kinky
________________________________________________
Laughter and tears,
Someone to sooth the fears,
Listening ever so dear,
So you can hear.
Comfort all the while,
Without having to dial,
Knowing you are the one all awhile,
Walking side by side every mile.
In sickness and health,
Without all the wealth,
Rest assured by the stealth,
May never arise, but mealth.
Sitting so proud in the chair,
Breathing in all the air,
Not looking; but a stare,
As you brush your hair.
Wishes of nothing but hope,
to be there through every mope,
Soothing the pain brought on by a dope,
Who is now out of the scope.
One day come near,
As I fear,
With all the drear,
That you are grown my dear.
Being taught everything you know,
From the first show,
To being able to sew,
Evn tying a bow.
Making me proud,
Ever so loud,
As the passing cloud,
You never had to bow.
Never being mean,
Always so clean,
Impressing the dean,
Ever so keen.
Remembering all the fun,
While on the run,
Playing in the sun,
When the day was done.
Returning to the past,
Where the stone was cast,
Coming back fast,
Knowing it would be the last.
Now you are grown,
Living on your own,
With no broken bone,
And no money blown.
Days go by,
Without a cry,
No one to pry,
As you try.
Troubles never dwell,
Upon your wishing well,
Never a chance to swell,
Thrown to the sea like a shell.
Originally wrote on 9-29-2006
By April AKA Kinky
________________________________________________
For my mom through these rough times:
As the years have rolled by,
We have been there to hear each other cry,
Now that we are both grown,
We hold our own.
Been many bumps over the years,
Not so many when these were small ears,
Through thick and thin,
We still remain kin.
Pain and suffering again and again,
A hand to lend,
Shoulders to lean on when in pain,
With no personal gain.
I sit here thinking of you,
trying not to be blue,
hope for all to be well,
before the eyes swell.
wrote by April aka Kinky
Jan 9th, 2008
Blessed be my mother and friend.
________________________________________________
Sitting here in pain,
Something I never wanted to relive,
Thinking it was all in vain,
This I now believe.
To my hearts avail,
I will build that wall back up,
this time I will not fail,
It won't break like the painted cup.
Looking in the mirror,
Standing there wondering,
As it becomes clearer,
Like loud thundering.
It was not me,
It was at the hands of another,
But now I am free,
From all that smother.
wrote by kinky AKA April on 6-15-06
________________________________________________
What is the meaning of love?
Love is a given emotion,
It can be gone in a flash,
Sometimes it's like the oceans,
Never knowing the next splash.
Deep feelings of the one,
Keeps your heart racing,
Till the next run,
As you are embracing.
Mind wandering thoughts,
Daydreaming all day long,
While waiting to be sought,
For him to come along.
Having lots of hopes,
For that grand day,
As both of you copes,
You walk holding the bouquet.
Long walks together,
Naked bodies lay,
Through all the Weather,
Like it is the last day.
wrote by kinky AKA April 6-15-06
________________________________________________
Helping Out
Sitting here day in and out,
Waiting to help someone in doubt,
Thumbing through many pages,
When I know there will be rages,
Please remember we are here to help,
Not for someone to yelp.
If you want assistance,
Remember we are not far in distance,
Just give us a ring,
We will answer within a spring.
Wrote by kinky AKA April on 6-29-2006
________________________________________________
To someone special, may he know who he is:
Together at last,
through a rough past,
weeding through thick and thin,
not knowing where to begin.
Countless happy times,
and the sad ones as well,
as the clock chimes,
there is no reason to dwell.
We know we will be able to play,
to talk and joke,
another day,
as we sit like other folk.
Know this is how I feel,
and know that I will love you,
to no deal,
all the way through.
6-30-06
wrote by Kinky AKA April
________________________________________________
"Nobody"
Walking one step closer into the night,
I find myself given a fright,
By what I see in sight,
He didn't go without a fight.
You could tell there was much of a struggle,
As they tried to muggle,
It was if he was in a jungle,
Where his body would be mangled.
Calling upon the authorities,
But they had other priorities,
That were not such brutalities,
This was but of one of the abnormalities.
As his body lay there slain,
There was nothing more to gain,
Cloudy skies turned into rain,
His blood ran into the water drain.
Finally showing up on scene,
They had seen,
That the ground was now clean,
From what was left; they could tell the killer was mean.
As they took away the body,
There was a soft melody,
Later that night the killer in custody,
Come to find out he was a nobody.
written: 7-5-06
by: Kinky AKA April
________________________________________________
The Pain I feel when I take in a breath,
Is what others feel when they pass away,
To live in a world so cold,
Where possession is their only worry.
What happened to the old stories,
Times we will never experience,
Essence lost,
Time will heal it all.
So cold in the night,
Like a snowy winter day,
The only heat you feel,
Is that of them fighting.
Materialistic objects being the only concern,
No mourning to be observed,
Cold and callousness,
Bittersweet till the end.
Always smiling and laughing,
Underneath is the darkness,
Feelings of unwantedness,
Awkward moments with silence surrounding.
Wrote by Kinky aka April on 7-25-06
________________________________________________
Lots of long lonely nights,
Coldness rolls in,
A feeling that has been there before,
Coming back knocking on that same door.
Sleepless; Restless nights,
A loud shrill,
From a child's frights,
Listening for someone who is no longer around.
Precious times wasted and lost,
With more than enough cost,
Lives of innocents affected,
Only it goes undetected.
How can someone be so vain,
To cause so much pain,
Another relationship slain,
But only one to blame.
wrote by Kinky aka April
August 8th, 2006
________________________________________________
All is Lost
Shadows running acrossed the ground,
While the world is spinning around,
A little twinkling in the distance,
Gone in an instance.
All hopes and dreams,
Lost amongst the screams,
everyone laughing at the failure,
who was one a savior.
Praying for death daily,
To end all the suffer,
Saying just maybe,
Someone else can offer.
Knowing that one day,
This pain will subside,
But when can one say,
Until then try to abide.
Originally wrote on 9-15-06
By Kinky aka April
________________________________________________
Watching
Watching out the window,
As you play in the sun,
Amazed at how you have grown,
In such a short time.
Not a care in the world,
Just wanting more time to play,
Before you know it,
It is time for school.
Changing minds and faces,
Having friends to share you secrets,
New interests and crushes,
Maturing into a beautiful young lady.
One day soon,
Before you or I see,
It will be time,
For marriage and college.
Only hope that you do not suffer,
As much as others,
And to remember one thing,
Be true to yourself.
Originally Wrote on 9-16-06
By Kinky aka April
________________________________________________
Our First Meet
Give me the hope,
That by just a chance,
We may cope,
And have that first dance.
Holding each other near,
With nothing to fear,
As I shed a tear,
To the one that I hold dear.
Thinking of you over the weeks,
Wondering if you are thinking of me,
Hoping that you are the one I seek,
And the day we meet; We shall be free.
Dreaming of that special day,
When we shall meet,
Not knowing what to say,
Expressing everything so sweet.
Originally Wrote on 9-21-06
By Kinky aka April
________________________________________________
How to survive
To cause another pain,
Due to insecurities,
Must be the main,
Cuz it comes with ease.
Always making a sacrifice,
For another person's love,
Only to be frozen by ice,
Yearning to be a dove.
Rare and precious qualities,
Like no other today,
Not found in quantity,
Only to be in dismay.
Turmoil now running through veins,
Due to all the arguements,
Wondering now what strains,
Are to come with this commitment.
Lonliness subsides,
Dreams leading to elsewhere,
No longer abides,
With anymore cares.
Moving in a new direction,
Not knowing what is to come,
Watching every action,
With a new song to hum.
Sadness will still dwell,
Every once in awhile,
Like the waves coming to swell,
Pushing it aside like bile.
Remembering that everything happens,
Only for us to learn and grow,
Knowing that one day it opens,
For a new flow.
To end all this pain,
Learn to have a cold heart,
So that you can remain,
Safe from the start.
written 9-16-06
by
April AKA Kinky
________________________________________________
Laughter and tears,
Someone to sooth the fears,
Listening ever so dear,
So you can hear.
Comfort all the while,
Without having to dial,
Knowing you are the one all awhile,
Walking side by side every mile.
In sickness and health,
Without all the wealth,
Rest assured by the stealth,
May never arise, but mealth.
Sitting so proud in the chair,
Breathing in all the air,
Not looking; but a stare,
As you brush your hair.
Wishes of nothing but hope,
to be there through every mope,
Soothing the pain brought on by a dope,
Who is now out of the scope.
One day come near,
As I fear,
With all the drear,
That you are grown my dear.
Being taught everything you know,
From the first show,
To being able to sew,
Evn tying a bow.
Making me proud,
Ever so loud,
As the passing cloud,
You never had to bow.
Never being mean,
Always so clean,
Impressing the dean,
Ever so keen.
Remembering all the fun,
While on the run,
Playing in the sun,
When the day was done.
Returning to the past,
Where the stone was cast,
Coming back fast,
Knowing it would be the last.
Now you are grown,
Living on your own,
With no broken bone,
And no money blown.
Days go by,
Without a cry,
No one to pry,
As you try.
Troubles never dwell,
Upon your wishing well,
Never a chance to swell,
Thrown to the sea like a shell.
Originally wrote on 9-29-2006
By April AKA Kinky
________________________________________________
For my mom through these rough times:
As the years have rolled by,
We have been there to hear each other cry,
Now that we are both grown,
We hold our own.
Been many bumps over the years,
Not so many when these were small ears,
Through thick and thin,
We still remain kin.
Pain and suffering again and again,
A hand to lend,
Shoulders to lean on when in pain,
With no personal gain.
I sit here thinking of you,
trying not to be blue,
hope for all to be well,
before the eyes swell.
wrote by April aka Kinky
Jan 9th, 2008
Blessed be my mother and friend.
________________________________________________
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